This will be me in 40 years.

1. This dialogue between me and Phoenix:

Phoenix: Mama, how old are you again?

Me: 38

Phoenix: (excited) That’s almost like 43!

2. Putting on my “Kurt Cobain” Edition Converse hi tops (yes, his signature is actually embroidered onto the shoe), and trying to remember what the heck I was thinking when I bought them and HOPING I told the pimply faced salesman at Journey’s that they were for my son.

3. The new wrinkles on my clavicle. My clavicle, really?

4. Talking to the room mom in Phoenix’s Kindergarten class and finding out she graduated from high school AFTER my first child was born.

5. Realizing I have a child who is too old to go Trick or Treating.

6. Trying to work Bob’s iPhone.

7. Accepting that I need to wear reading glasses.

8. Finding out that the average life span for a woman is 75, not 85. I am officially middle aged.

9. Never ever being able to read the “Twilight” series because that would be embarrassing to admit as a middle aged woman.

10. Remembering when Angela M. was so shocked that I was quoting ‘Bon Qui Qui’ from stage at SISiversary. I think she equated it with her grandma imitating Fred or something.

Well, that was tiring…I think it’s time for my granny nap.

I can’t believe it’s November already! Thankfully, we’re having lovely weather and with the newly found hour we have we actually made it to first service at church this morning.

Here are some thoughts and happenings from my life over the last few days:

• 1. This morning, Walker wanted to know if I thought Batman was Jewish.
• 2. It’s scary how quickly I was able to transform myself into a bum for Halloween yesterday. Seriously. Like five seconds.
• 3. I think I might be anti-social.
• 4. I own a LOT of make up.
• 5. I only wear make up like once a week…at the most.
• 6.  My kids think I’m actually going to let them eat all of their Halloween candy.
• 7. I really need to stop eating ice cream in bed…at midnight.
• 8. If you can’t beat em’, join ‘em.
• 9. Four of my kids are playing basketball this season. In a few weeks, I will start spending hours every Saturday sitting on the bleachers. Time to invest in one of those cushion thingies.
• 10. I own a lot of exercise equipment that I’ve never used.

That’s all I got for now.

xoxo

Jeanette

So, Jeannie the Intern makes the absolute best faces in the entire world! Seriously, it’s a rare talent and it endears me to her to no end. My first experience with her faces was when she and I, along with Amy Tan had some photos taken in a photo booth at the mall the day before SISiversary, and we played a game where one of us would call out the kind of face we had to make and we would have to make it before the camera flashed (this is like a REALLY fun game by the way). Unfortunately, I don’t have my scanner hooked up right now so I can’t show you those photo booth pictures, but every once in a while Jeannie treats me to a special email with a new funny face picture in it to add to my collection. So far, these are the ones I have:

Jeannie with buck teeth

I call this one "Jeannie Sad Face"

Jeannie Smush Face

Jeannie Stretch Mouth

Jeannie Underwater Face

Here, she's saying "you're no match for me, Boyfriend Brian!"

Soon I will scan my other pictures so you can see her “I just got ran over by an ambulance!” face…it’s my favorite…well, it’s like tied with her underwater face (which by the way, is actually her real under water face. The way she avoids getting water up her nose is by sucking her upper lip up to her nose so that her nostrils are closed. I do believe if I ever saw her make that face underwater, I would start laughing so hard under water that I would asphyxiate and die.

Today I’m going to have a picnic at the school with my Kindergarten, Phoenix. She starts her first full day of school on Thursday, so today for some reason, the parents come have a picnic on the playground with the kids and then take them home. I just wanted to tell you all this because this is the best “mommy” thing I’ve done in a long time (well, other than helping West direct his Fashion Show the other day). Isn’t that sad? It is sad…I’m not a good mommy right now, I’m just not. I’m trying to change that though. And I wanted some affirmations for my first big effort. LOL

[Jesus said] “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.” (Matthew 5:13).

OK, so I LOVE to make up spiritual illustrations. In fact I think I could write a book of them for pastors to use in their sermons! Last night, I came up with a really cool one that I think that goes along well with this verse. It’s kind of a funny one when you think about how I came up with the idea for it.

So I decided to do a saltwater flush last night. Hopefully, I don’t need to go into the details of this, but suffice it to say you drink a quart of lukewarm saltwater and in a sense you give your digestive system a “bath”. It’s real cool and all for those of us who are into that sort of thing. But I digress. So anyway the reason that the saltwater flush works is because the water combined with the sea salt (NOT iodized salt) has the same gravity as your blood, so it doesn’t get absorbed into the bloodstream…or something kinda like that.  It goes through your stomach and your entire digestive tract, and draws out the impurities. So, I’m think “I’m the salt (salt of the earth) and what/who is the “living water”? Christ! So as long as I am “combined” with Christ, I can’t get absorbed into all that yuckiness in my system. Not only that, but I will draw out impurities as I go on in my “journey”! LOL OK, so it’s kind of a funny and totally gross illustration, but it really makes sense. Salt in food gets absorbed…salt and water, not so much. So there ya go. Pass this along to your pastor. He can thank me later.

J

I am definitely someone who likes to be “on trend” when it comes to crafting, clothing and home decor, but because of my age…and the fact that I want to avoid cringing when I look back on my style choices ten years from now, I tend to embrace the trends that are actually pretty classic, but may be experiencing a surge in popularity for a season or two. For example, right now we’re still riding the (mainly) tartan plaid wave, which makes me SOO happy, I can’t even tell you. Here are a few things I’m after right now…

Scotch plaid glasses and a third vintage plaid thermos to add to my little collection (it’s not really a collection, I just need to have three because its good to decorate in threes.)

I can just imagine myself drinking my morning Coke Zero (don’t judge, I don’t drink coffee so I decided it’s OK) out of those glasses. Ahh…I really like to embrace simple pleasures like that.

The thing about a trend like plaid is that, the ultra hotness of it will fade fairly fast so it’s best to just indulge in limited quantities. No tartan plaid couches, wallpaper or head to toe outfits. And probably not shoes either…unless they’re a REALLY good deal and you promise me you will only wear them for like another year. If you live on one of the coasts, forget it, don’t even bother, they’ll be completely out of style before you get home from the shoe store. That’s one of the benefits of living in the middle of the country: you can get away with things for longer because we’re not as on trend here as they are on the coasts.

Here are some things that I decree NOT a “trend that won’t end”…

Now please don’t misunderstand me…jelly shoes? cute! owls? double cute!! I’m just suggesting that you be aware of the things that are going to have their time and then will fade away until the next time they make their appearance. So be wise where and when you use these trends, and also be weary of any large financial investment in a trend that may not last longer than it takes to call your friend on the phone and say, “wait till you see my new Spandex stirrups!”

The great thing about crafting and home decor trends is that they stay around much longer than some of the trends in fashion. Whew! We’re all still loving woodgrain, woodland creatures, houndstooth and vintage. I dare say with the economy the way it is, a lot of manufacturers aren’t taken the stylistic risks that that they were a couple of years ago, so each season it seems as though they’re just changing up some of the designs that they found success with in the previous seasons. While this can make it a little boring for those of you who are creatively stimulated by new aesthetics in the crafting world, it’s really a good thing because we’re able to mix together products from the current season and seasons past and put our own twist on them to make them fresh, and we don’t have to reinvest in a whole new paper stash every six months.

Some tips on assuring that your “scrappy stash” never goes out of style:

• stay stocked up on your favorite colors of cardstock, especially white, and black and kraft if you use them
• avoid investing in more than one or two sheets of that “money patterned paper” that appears in every kit club’s kit, and is featured on the cover of the company’s catalog – its a great piece to have in your collection, but using a lot of it is a surefire way to make your pages appear dated in a few years, not to mention unoriginal since every other crafter will probably use that paper in one project or another
• stock up on patterned paper that utilize classic patterns like polka dots, stripes, brocade, houndstooth, small floral prints, etc. – they won’t shout “hey, I’m from 2009!!” in 10 years.
• use your favorite ultra trendy items sparingly – don’t use that adorable kawaii tape on every layout you create until it runs out
• be inspired by other designers, but don’t “knock them off” – the more people who copy another designer’s style almost exactly, the more likely that “look” is going to go out of style…and really quickly
• always add your own touch to your work, striving to be relevant to what’s going on in the world of craftiness, yet distinctly original -  this will ensure that your work will almost always appeal to you
• strive to be original – something truly original rarely goes out of style because no one will be able to associate it with a specific time period

Have fun and create well!

Jeanette

For the last few days I’ve been reading a lot about dispensationalism vs. covenant theology…hello? Is anyone still here? Come back! I promise it gets interesting!

See, I find this stuff absolutely fascinating. However, when I tried to engage my own mother in a lively chat about how “Progressive Dispensationalism” is like an amalgoum of the two systems, even my own mother (who usually pretends at least to be interested in my diffuse chatter) was quickly overcome with that glazed  look in her eyes that she usually reserves for my dad when he gives her his weekly discourse about the itchiness of his legs. Trust me: that speech deserves the glazed over look.

Oops, gotta go it’s time for “That’s So Raven”.

Yesterday West and Parker were fighting over a briefcase that I bought for West at a thrift store a while back. Apparently, Parker had purchased the brief case for $1 from West, but he had repossesed it without just cause. According to West he had changed his mind and wanted the briefcase back. However, he didn’t feel the need to return the dollar to Parker. Anyway, an argument broke out and since I was busy working, and couldn’t be bothered to explain the finer points of commerce, I just took the “give them what they want to get them to leave you alone” parenting approach and said “I have a bunch of bags in my closet you guys can have, so don’t fight.”  Well, leave it to West to completely ignore all the cheap purses I’ve acquired from Forever 21, TJ Maxx and places like that. No, he emerged from my closet with my $250 Coach messenger bag, that I purchased during some of the more “prosperous” days of he Herdman family. I quickly sent him back to the closet to search for something more “cost-appropriate”. So now he has his “bag”, a tan PURSE that makes Bob cringe whenever West parades around the house with it draped across his shoulders. He has proclaimed to me that he “LOVES” his purse so much that he plans to take it “wherever he goes”. Bob was horrified by this news, and says it’s just too much for him to bear. Every time he tells West, “you need to get rid of that purse”, West very calmly asserts to him, “it’s not a purse, it’s a bag”.