| Author |
Message |
kitleen
Favorite SISter (6509)
|
# Posted: 26 Aug 2008 22:53
Dear sweet offspring...
Do I LOOK like a trash can?
Do I LOOK like the dirty laundry basket?
WHY must you hand everything to me? Why?
Signed, Oscar the Grouch {singing "I love trash"} ha!
|
hilly0013
Favorite SISter (6353)
|
# Posted: 26 Aug 2008 22:53
Dear Aunt Flo....
Leave me the h*** alone.
No, I don't want any more children. So, I don't know why you bother to visit.
You just make me cranky and leave me with a sour tummy. My body feels bloated upon your arrival.
I'm not fond of you and tend to not be fond of anything during your stay.
Signed, Stop the Flo
Ok....I want children, but right now I need mine to stop...I'm on day 13 of Aunt Flo and I need a break.....
|
 
prairieWillow
Favorite SISter (15652)
|
# Posted: 26 Aug 2008 22:55
Signed, Stop the Flo
omg omg omg...
hilarious.
|
 
divv
Big SIS (4527)
|
# Posted: 26 Aug 2008 22:57
Do I LOOK like a trash can?Do I LOOK like the dirty laundry basket?WHY must you hand everything to me? Why?
lol, that's better than mine! Instead of handing it to me, they just throw it on the floor. my days are spent cleaning like nonstop! lol
Dear Aunt Flo....Leave me the h*** alone.No, I don't want any more children. So, I don't know why you bother to visit. You just make me cranky and leave me with a sour tummy. My body feels bloated upon your arrival. I'm not fond of you and tend to not be fond of anything during your stay.Signed, Stop the Flo
I am so laughing my butt off!!!
|
tripletsrajoy
Big SIS (4414)
|
# Posted: 26 Aug 2008 22:59
Divv- You have unleashed something in me. I have been writing letters in my head all day. But it has inspired me to scrapbook about one of the mild ones. Tomorrow I will get a picture- and tomorrow night I will scrapbook it.
|
kitleen
Favorite SISter (6509)
|
# Posted: 26 Aug 2008 23:02 - Edited by: kitleen
Divv- You have unleashed something in me.
I know, right!?!
It's like, hmmm....my chance to let it out. Watch out! =)
|
lorwilb
SISter Elle (1656)
|
# Posted: 26 Aug 2008 23:19
It's NOT OK to just skip houses. This isn't a choose your own adventure novel. It's mail, and I care!
bwahahaaaaaaaaa!
You all are cracking me up!!!!!
Everybody needs a good vent once in a while!
|
divv
Big SIS (4527)
|
# Posted: 26 Aug 2008 23:42
Divv- You have unleashed something in me. I have been writing letters in my head all day. But it has inspired me to scrapbook about one of the mild ones. Tomorrow I will get a picture- and tomorrow night I will scrapbook it.
Yay! I can't wait to see it!!
|
divv
Big SIS (4527)
|
# Posted: 26 Aug 2008 23:48 - Edited by: divv
Dear landlord,
When I call you and tell you that due to my air conditioning unit, I now have a swimming pool in the hallway, the normal response would be to come as soon as possible, not two days later.
No, it is not fun having to wade through a wet apartment. I am all for a good swim, but this is not my idea of an indoor swimming pool. Please send the maintenance man back. I am serious when I say, him coming in with a gallon of bleach does not repair machinary.
Thank you and a speedy repair is much appreciated,
Your seriously drenched and completely mopped out tenant
|
tripletsrajoy
Big SIS (4414)
|
# Posted: 26 Aug 2008 23:50
OK one more from me:
Dear Angry B.,
After the very thoughtful words you commented to me on someone elses blog, I really wanted to write back and tell you I DID and it was fun! But unfortunatly, I didn't do it to myself (I had a partner). Therefore, that is the reason you haven't heard back from me.
signed- Sorry to disappoint
|
metrochic
Favorite SISter (14630)
|
# Posted: 27 Aug 2008 01:49
OMGYOUGUYS.
Okay...but I really don't know if I can commit to forever.
I'm kinda flightly.
which is one of the reasons i love you so much. i have commitment issues, too. it's all good.
i have but one letter to write today. here it is:
dear me,
1) surely you realize that the reason they leave trails of junk everywhere they go is that you go behind them and pick it all up. stop doing that and i bet they notice. then, when they say, "man, this place is a wreck", point out exactly who wrecked it by playing the "let's all retrace our steps and pick up anything we might have left lying around". perhaps the sight of you standing with virtually empty hands while theirs are overflowing will leave a more lasting impression. hell, one weeks worth would be good.
2) know what might help that insomnia? going to bed. try it. you never know.
3) save your sanity and stop procrastinating already! sheesh.
4) when you feel even a tiny bit sorry for yourself, for the love of all things sparkly, please to be remembering the big picture and just how lucky and blessed and fabulous your tiny life truly is. you are healthy, mostly sane and have a husband, child, friends and family who love you. GET OVER IT ALREADY.
amen.
signed,
your biggest fan
|
divv
Big SIS (4527)
|
# Posted: 27 Aug 2008 02:16
4) when you feel even a tiny bit sorry for yourself, for the love of all things sparkly, please to be remembering the big picture and just how lucky and blessed and fabulous your tiny life truly is. you are healthy, mostly sane and have a husband, child, friends and family who love you. GET OVER IT ALREADY.
amen
|
 
lalalee
Favorite SISter (6015)
|
# Posted: 27 Aug 2008 09:00 - Edited by: lalalee
Dear family.
I am not a freaking slave.
I was not purchased from the convict ship for thrippence to be indentured for ever to clean this f****ng house after you lot over and over like some twisted chinese torture hell.
I do not get some "I am the mother, this is my life, you are all my only focus and sole centre of my existence, my only reason for being and everything little thing you do I love and I shall clean it with a smile and know I love you" serence sense of statisfaction in the daily wiping down of things after crap gets left on it, sweeping up the crap off the floor, mopping more crap of stuff, scrubbing the crap of stuff, picking up of crap when you should have known bloody well to put it away after using it, when it WAS NOT ME WHO PUT THE CRAP THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!
It just plain out P**Ses ME OFF! Pure and simple. If I go to the trouble of cleaning something well, do me the common curtesy of trying your best to keep it that way for as long as possible.
YES that does mean you may actually, well I don't know, WIPE BENCHES after you put crumbs or spill drink over them - and not later after everything is a gunked up festy stuck on goo ball, but as soon as the mess is made (yes, shocking I know).
And YES that does mean you may have to pick up the random bits of clothing you leave lying around and actually take them to the laundry and put them in the basket YOURSELVES (what a freaking REVELATION, I know).
And you know, it means tidying up and wiping off the areas of the bathroom that you three soley use which I do not use, so I know none of that messy crud is from me. (wow, yes I can see you are floored by that pronouncement).
I am not paid to continually clean up after you three able bodies, for whom there is no physical or mental impediment as to why you bloody well can't do it for yourselves. Simple. I hate it, I detest it, I resent it.
You mob, oh family I *love*, get your act together or be aware I could go "loner in a clock tower" on your arses. (shock horror OH THE HUMANITY!). Or something much worse, like only serving you lot brussels sprouts for a week. Put that in your plate and eat it.
VENGANCE SHALL BE MIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!
..
....
.....
*ahem*
I feel MUCH better now after that garganutan rant.
Happy Wednesday everyone!
xox Lee :)
|
tia0220
Model SISter (2827)
|
# Posted: 27 Aug 2008 09:07 - Edited by: tia0220
DEAR MIL,
DH is NOT your "long lost" son. He is the only one who takes time to visit you and once again, we live right up the road from where your husband is in a nursing home. DH is the ONLY one that goes to see him. I will be seeing you tonight because I HAVE to, don't expect I will be friendly!
signed,
your invisible DIL
|
Krista
Haute SISter (946)
|
# Posted: 27 Aug 2008 09:57
Dear Teenaged Spawn,
When you walk in the door, please at least say "hello" to me before asking me to buy you something/t
take you somewhere. It's really just common courtesy.
Signed,
The One Who Gave You Life
PS: Do you see a money tree growing in our back yard?
i think i love you!
|
Krista
Haute SISter (946)
|
# Posted: 27 Aug 2008 10:04
Dear Aunt Flo....
Leave me the h*** alone.
No, I don't want any more children. So, I don't know why you bother to visit.
You just make me cranky and leave me with a sour tummy. My body feels bloated upon your arrival.
I'm not fond of you and tend to not be fond of anything during your stay.
Signed, Stop the Flo
amen sister!!!
since i have major issues with this little visitor my dr as it so i only get the visit 3 or 4 times a year - super easy and wonderful
just keep taking the green or non-sugar pills in 3 (or 4) packs before you do the sugar ones - they call it cycling ask about it - just means that you'll actually use more than 12 pill packs a year but if the dr prescribes it ins should cover it i'd think. and even if they don't, it'd be worth it to me to not deal with this ever month
|
Krista
Haute SISter (946)
|
# Posted: 27 Aug 2008 10:25
Dear DH,
money ain't everything. being happy in the job i do is more important to me than making lots of cash. pretty hard to accept after years of being a driven, competitive go getter who also happened to be unhappy but it is what it is.
if i could go back and change the way all this started i would. but i can't so we need to figure out a way to just get over it. and trying ever sneaky way you can think of (including reverse psychology) isn't going to work. i'm smart and see right thru your lame attempts. not only that, but it just makes me dig my heels in deeper and resist. a fact of my personality you know well. so why do you keep doing the same thing and expecting different results. i heard that's the definition of stupid which you're not.
quit picking on and at me and let's really work together to fix it rather than place blame.
thank you,
your wife that is much happier than she used to be working in corporate American but now makes less money
|
weebbt
Favorite SISter (11205)
|
# Posted: 27 Aug 2008 11:03
Stop the Flo!
|
lpmkate
Favorite SISter (9453)
|
# Posted: 27 Aug 2008 11:14
Stop the Flo!
That beyotch just left the building.
Freaking hovering for days.
|
erinrwillis
Favorite SISter (5047)
|
# Posted: 27 Aug 2008 11:25
I think I might die laughing. Really. I'm about to pee on myself I'm laughing so hard.
Lalalee - your post was fantastic!! I want your autograph for that one. :)
|
livingroomfloor
SISter Elle (1896)
|
# Posted: 27 Aug 2008 13:10
Dear Friend,
I appreciate that you can text faster than a 12-year-old on speed. But is it possible that you could do it sometime other than when we're hanging out?
I take time away from my husband, American Gladiators and my cat to hang out and shop with you and your 5 phone calls and numerous other "conversations" are about to drive me batty.
And I don't care if you have 1,000 available texts per month...it's rude and it would be great if you didn't use 999 of them when you're with me.
Sincerely,
Anti-Text
|
clspillane
Model SISter (2341)
|
# Posted: 27 Aug 2008 13:14
Sincerely,
Anti-Text
haha hA!
|
Sonja
Favorite SISter (5583)
|
# Posted: 27 Aug 2008 13:32 - Edited by: Sonja
My dearest children,
Your penises are not fire hoses. There is no fire in the bathroom to put out. Make sure the urine finds its way into the toilet from now on not all over the bathroom walls and floor...or else.
Signed,
your loving mother
|
erinrwillis
Favorite SISter (5047)
|
# Posted: 27 Aug 2008 13:33
Hey Steph - I'm thinking this friend might be part of the reason you took texting off of your phone?
|
livingroomfloor
SISter Elle (1896)
|
# Posted: 27 Aug 2008 13:56
Hey Steph - I'm thinking this friend might be part of the reason you took texting off of your phone?
Um. Yeah.
|
sandritaaaaa
Style Addict (1141)
|
# Posted: 27 Aug 2008 14:03
dear book publishing companies,
$150-200 for a book is waaaay too much.
we are broke-both my brother and myself may have to drop classes because of you.
sincerely,
2 broke college students
|
BlessedinTexas
Favorite SISter (10065)
|
# Posted: 27 Aug 2008 14:24
Dear neighbors,
As you know I love kids and even yours, but I am not running a day care 24/7. I am trying to work from home in case you didnt hear me the 4th time. Not to mention that I am feeding your kids all day long while you are doing what?? Not working???
I think it would be nice if every now and then you offered to have my dd over?? Hello , we have lived by you for at least 3 years and she has never been to your house. That probably is a blessing in disguise but my biggest b/eef is that you cant even say Thank You? What is wrong with this world.
I am glad you moving and hope you like your new home. At least now I know you will quit taking advantage of someone who loves kids and actually doesnt mind showing yours some love and hugs -
And to my other neighbors, why did you have kids?? I havent figured this one out yet....I am tired of these parents who come home too tired to take care of their children and fix them dinner?? Like I said I am not running a daycare and or restaurant....
Oh yea, and this has nothing to do with your kids who I do care about - I just wish you parents cared for them as much as I do - I truly feel sorry for kids these days and the sad thing is it is these parents who keep having more??
Thanks divv for the thread..I enjoyed reading this today for sure!!!!
|
BlessedinTexas
Favorite SISter (10065)
|
# Posted: 27 Aug 2008 14:35
Oy yea,
Dear Me,
It is okay to say NO and not feel bad!!!!
Love and hugs,
My head talking to my heart :-))
|
tia0220
Model SISter (2827)
|
# Posted: 27 Aug 2008 15:12
Dear little old lady that shares my cube,
I don't want to see your boobs, or your bras. I don't want you to share your nasty old woman lotion, please don't ask for my hand again and put it on your body parts. I have work to do, I know your family history and all of your grandkids names. I have heard the stories three times over.
It's bad enough we have space that I am not allowed to move to, but please when you have gas walk away.
Thanks
Gassed out!
|
lydiajane
Favorite SISter (7293)
|
# Posted: 27 Aug 2008 15:17
To whoever stole my boy's bike:
YOU SUCK. (But thanks for chucking his helmet in the middle of the playground).
Signed,
You better pray I never find out who you are.
|
