| Author |
Message |
divalicious
Style Icon (8132)
|
# Posted: 4 Jan 2008 13:34 - Edited by: divalicious
Dh just got home from the dr's and he has so much to do ladies it isn't even funny.
He's a little upset and down right now.
They want him to lose weight, stop eating certain foods, or down the road he might have a pace maker etc.
It seems like there is so much to do and how do we get there from here.
I know I can handle this but I'm worried about him. Do I give up scrapbooking and just focus on him...how could i give up my art, but i just feel i have to be there for him so much more now.
For those that have no idea what i'm talking about there is a thread in the prayer section. right here
Any positive words or advice, please leave them here.
I feel bad for even asking as one of our sisters is losing her husband right now. :(
|
 
china59
SISter Elle (1988)
|
# Posted: 4 Jan 2008 13:37
I think if you give up your art completely you might loose your sanity.
You'll probably have to give more time to him, at least in the beginning, and mainly to motivate him and help him understand that even if some adjustments are necessary, it is for a greater good ! Even if I know it is very hard !
But don't give up scrap completely !
|
 
StraitFan10
SISter Superior (6287)
|
# Posted: 4 Jan 2008 13:41
I think if you give up your art completely you might loose your sanity.
What china59 said!! Just take some time to get things under control, it will get better!! Hang in there Kellie!!!
|
divalicious
Style Icon (8132)
|
# Posted: 4 Jan 2008 13:42
I know your right, have to think levelheaded, and giving it up isn't.
not going to give it up.
Your totally right i have to give him more attention, this is hard on him.
K i got to go before i start crying here.
Thanks for your words of wisdom.
NOT GIVING UP MY ART, actually am going to do a page about this today hopefully.
|
StarrAltered
Big SIS (4297)
|
# Posted: 4 Jan 2008 13:49
take your supplies and do a little something whever he is.... sometimes mine wants to watch tv downstairs, but my scrap room is upstairs... so i'll do a project that i can do on the couch next to him with minimal supplies... that way we are still hangin out together...
or if he starts a walking program you can walk with him and take that camera with you...
sorry he is feeling so down, i'm sure you'll get him on the right track soon, he likely just needs time to grieve a bit about the news and then he can set to getting better. (everyone needs a little time to feel sorry for themselves... as long as they jump out of the funk with a new mission to move forward.)
|
 
pascrapgal
Smiling feels good
Stylicious SISter (9656)
|
# Posted: 4 Jan 2008 13:52 - Edited by: pascrapgal
Kellie, here's my (humble, I hope) opinion.
Yes, you can be there to support him. That's so important and so important that you're on board as far as what food comes in to the house, not enabling him, not sabbotaging his efforts, helping to make a healthier environment for him. That's a great focus to have.
BUT - dear, dear Kellie, HE must make these choices to change his behavior on his own, don't you think? You can't really make him, can you? You don't want to spend your life "policing" him, right? Sure, you guys can make some lifestyle changes and see this as something you're going to do together. But I don't think that means giving up everything you enjoy as well...
If it was YOU, would you want him to give up his hobbies, his art? I doubt it. Why don't you ask him what he would like from you? I doubt that he'll say, please follow me around and make sure I do everything I need to do to get healthy. Well, I don't know him, so I don't what he would say. :)
But it's one thing to be supportive and "there" for him and another to do it for him. Hope that helps.... :)
|
LesleyC
SISter Superior (6266)
|
# Posted: 4 Jan 2008 14:01
Big hugs. I am sorry you are both going thru this.
Ok I am no professional but I would imagine your DH is going thru a kinda of shock / grieving process right now (and you). Hopefully he will be able to turn it around to a positive - he can do something positive about this. You can support him but he actually has to do it.
Definitely dont give up your art. Everyone needs some outlet!
Stay positive!
Lesley
|
juljen
hulhen
Supreme SIS (11107)
|
# Posted: 4 Jan 2008 14:14
ok... pascrapgal just took the words right out of my mouth! ;)
you create art. it is what you do and who you are. an artist. ain't no changing that! find a balance, but don't lose yourself in the process. won't be good for him... or for you.
there. my words of wisdom for the year! heh!
we're here for you, girl! :)
|
 
tracinicole
Super MODel
Supreme SIS (16748)
|
# Posted: 4 Jan 2008 14:19
Lots of great advice here.
We have heart disease in our family. My dad started having heart problems at around 52. No spring chicken, but not elderly either. He has since then changed his health dramactically. He grew up a "meat and potatos" eater. We had dessert every night in our house and he LOVED ice cream. Ice cream or popcorn was how he ended his day. EVERYDAY. Change was not easy for him either but better to be alive and hating excerising and eating right than dead and not eating anything at all! LOL!
Staying positive is a state of mind and a choice. It is also better for your body to have a positive outlook rather than a negative angry one. Here's a quote for you that I always loved.
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company ... a church ... a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude ... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you ... we are in charge of our Attitudes. Charles Swindoll
|
weebbt
Tracy
Supreme SIS (11440)
|
# Posted: 4 Jan 2008 15:44
Just take it one step at a time - looking at the big picture can be a bit overwhelming. And don't forget to take care of you, too!
|
nanbhack
SISter Elle (1507)
|
# Posted: 4 Jan 2008 16:25
Kellie lovely kellie. I have been where you are at RIGHT NOW. My husband had the pacemaker ...the WHOLE BIT... so please remember what I will say...and I apologize if it is direct - but this is sometimes the best way to receive "what to do" directions.
1) today is the worst.. it gets better from here on out
2)you must stay active in YOUR life as well as his. Caregivers need their "outings" too. Which equates to not giving up scrapping. Believe me if you focus on him? You will drive both of you nuts and may cause more stress on the both of you. Why I know this? I DID IT!
3) Take one thing at a time, and prioritize. I know the doctor response is overwhelming but what you need to do is a couple of things. 1) ask him/her (the doctor) what the priority should be - because you can't do it all cold turkey! and 2) if you dont feel comfortable asking... go for a second opinion. Doctors will most likely not run tests - they will just review charts. I recommend going to someone at a different hospital that is the BEST.
4) pick your battles. One of the things I had to learn was not fight/discuss etc etc EVERYTHING. There was a list of certain things - and the rest was no big deal.
5) who gives a rats behind what the house looks like and/or what your family and critical friends think. Do what you and your husband think YOU guys should do.
Again, apologize if this sound harsh... but as I stated about - I have been through this.... please pm me with your phone number if you want to talk.. hang in there woman - we are here for you!.
|
divalicious
Style Icon (8132)
|
# Posted: 4 Jan 2008 19:58
Thank you so much all!
I have read thru everything and you know what I'm fine.
It seems like such a big mountain but feeling peaceful right now. God is in control right?
And I have that poem about "attitude" it's amazing!!!
Not going to give up my scrapbooking, but what I can do is maybe stop spending money on it and using what I have. :) Altho I have a GC for some goodies.
No worries I'm NOT offended, not at the moment.
This is maybe the start of something good, change is good, however stressful.
May have days that I feel crappy, and maybe it hasn't sunk in fully yet.
I thank you!!! :)
Might just pm you nanbhack.
|
rumor
SISter Elle (1680)
|
# Posted: 4 Jan 2008 21:19
Your family is in my prayers!
|
prairieWillow
Supreme SIS (15621)
|
# Posted: 4 Jan 2008 21:21
I have nothing to add, cause everyone said it so well for me,
but I am thinking of you and your husband and I hope things get better for you.
xo
deanna
|
nanbhack
SISter Elle (1507)
|
# Posted: 4 Jan 2008 22:41
PM away woman! I know what you are going through and I am your age. :)
THat was the hardest thing for me to cope with - I felt I was the only one out there... but what you will find is you are NOT alone in this journey.
Also please feel free to leave your phone number and I can call you. I think my free long distance goes to BC! lol. HUgs babe! Nan
|
Linda
Supreme SIS (10163)
|
# Posted: 4 Jan 2008 22:48
Praying for you! You'll know what to do. Just take one thing at a time and remember it's ok to take care of you too!
|
annkelli
Big SIS (4567)
|
# Posted: 4 Jan 2008 23:16
take each day and challenge one day at a time and remember that God won't give you more than you or your husband can handle.
(i am constantly reminding myself of that!)
and don't even think about not scrapping ~ it's the best therapy there is!
|
tallynt
Style Goddess (7940)
|
# Posted: 4 Jan 2008 23:20
I can't add anything but wanted to give you my support and let you know I am thinking of you.
|
cricket
Favorite SISter (5677)
|
# Posted: 5 Jan 2008 17:34
me too Kellie, everyone has given such great advice to you that I can't add anything else really. Just know that you and your dh are in my prayers!
((((hugs))))
|
